U2, Football, and Misogyny

As we join our houseguests, they're sitting dumbfounded after the whirlwind that was the past hour. They're stunned and confused with the air show dates, and Will is worried the final 2 will have to sit in the house for an entire week. Boogie is more concerned with George's departure. "Shit," he says longingly, "Who's going to clean now?"


Whoah

"That was like Magic Mountain on acid," Boogie adds. Will's thumb is broken, he figures. He's icing it. I think it was during the rope competition that he hurt it. He and Boogie then move to the bug room to discuss what's going to happen next. Boogie says that "they're into twists this year" and that they're a big flaw in the game. Whatever that's about. It's so quiet nowadays you can really hear the cameras whirring around. It's sort of like being on a spaceship, or what I like to believe a spaceship would sound like. Anyways, Erika is shaking from all that craziness. Will and Boogie join she and Janelle at the table, and Will should take an Advil, she thinks. They decide to play cards. Erika's nauseous. She's going to puke. Aside from Erika's constant moaning, no one is talking.


I'm nauseous...and have a hangnail...possibly Lyme disease...Waaaaaaah!

The sound is all echoey and it sounds like they're under water. And robots. Yes, underwater robots. Will complains about his finger some more, and says he feels worse about George leaving than Danielle. They were such bratty kids and he was the dad, cooking and cleaning. He was a terrible cook, but he meant well. "Such a sweetheart," says Will, and I think he's going to ask George to the prom. Wait! They already had that.

Creepily enough, Erika now says, "Can someone check if Janelle is actually a machine? [looks at Janelle] Let me see if you have batteries somewhere in your body right now." (Kinky!) "Why, are you scared?" asks Janelle. Erika's embarassed. Heh. "Yeah, she's a robot," Will adds quite casually. An underwater robot, I might add. Janelle's only other response is "I'm really hungry for sweets right now."

They think it must have been an awesome show. Will told Richard as much when he was getting his thumb checked out. Richard is new to me. Hmmmmmm. I'm sure he's no Cory, or even Jonah for that matter. Oh, I suppose since he was checking out Will's finger he's the doctor. Perhaps Will can charm him into "accidentally" leaving the door unlocked, allowing for his carefully planned escape. The guilt, desperation, and sense of being totally played will drive Richard to relapse and overdose on Big Brother House Clinic morphine. Waking in the hospital with the belief that all hope is lost, he'll mysteriously receive a bandana made out of a t-shirt sleeve. It bears the cryptic message "There's a plan to make all of this right ... .. .. . .. .... ... ... .. .... .... .. .. ."

Anyways, they're still trying to work out the dates. Erika just keeps repeating, "This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy," and it's fitting because so is she. Janelle tries to remember how the last few evictions went down last year and what the timeline was. Erika says her brother must be freaking out right now. I bet he's crazy too.


All I got for Christmas was this stupid First Aid kit

There's a lot of silence and sighing. Whirrrrr go the cameras. Oh! After some flames, we learn that Janelle got an HOH basket. I guess they're not even bothering to give her the room for one night. Oh! That's because the next HOH comp is actually tonight. Luckily she's won about 37 HOH and Vetos this year or I would say she totally got the short end of this HOH stick. "Won't be too late, cause they wanna get Julie out of here," Boogie reassures us. They also get sushi. "Spicy Tuna? I love it," Janelle confirms, if there was any doubt. Oh, I forgot to tell you that a little while ago Boogie went to pee and they totally left his mic on. He also blew his nose while he was in there.

Erika tells Will to give a toast. "I think it's pretty obvious, there's only 4 of us left in this house," he begins, "we're down to the final four guys and that is something you should be really proud of. For me, this experience has been hell on earth, horrible, and terrible, but the only reason it's been tolerable is honestly because of you three people. This is more of a hood saying, 'Don't hate the player, hate the game,' but here I hate the game and I love the players." Hmmm...I don't think that came out the way he intended. They cheers and all but I don't see it as RealPlayer's video is handily frozen. Erika goes to the diary room and as SOON as the door closes, they all spazz out about her winning the veto. Well, Janelle does and Will and Boogie play along, discuss the need to get rid of her, etc.
















Here is the church, here is the steeple....

Well, it seems now that they can't get off the topic of the season's remaining timeline. Boogie figures there won't be a show on Sunday because people are boating because it's labour day. Then the new TV season starts, then there's football, so really in the next 3 weeks there's only going to be 5 shows. He sure knows his mathemagics. Another possibility might be that the finale is on an earlier date. No...that can't be it. They discuss what the remaining few competitions might be. Erika comes back and Janelle goes to diary, and now the exact same conversation from 5 minutes ago takes place again with Erika in place of Janelle. Oh girls, you've been so showmanced. Will says he was totally James during his last DR - no sense of humour. Boogie thinks they made some ballsy production moves tonight. Kudos to them. Erika and Will share a Twix. "Do you think the internet is on right now?" Erika asks. She also wonders whether baby Jesus flips the sun on and off with a lightswitch each day.

Boogie and Will want Janelle (oh yeah, it's been a while, and Janelle is back now) to tell them more about Howie and Kaysar. I think it has to do with what they think the competition might be. Will wants to "talk it out." Howie likes football and U2, Kaysar reads a lot. Will says Howie also likes women. "So for Howie we've got U2, football, and misogyny then?" asks Boogie. Sigh. I have to give him props for that. Janelle confirms, "His favorite magazine is Playboy. Or Maxim. His first job was giving blood." "And sperm donation," adds Will. Boogie seems really nervous about this competition, whatever it may be. He'd much rather play instincts than memory skill games. He begins to list things off about various people. He figures James is a Dave Matthews and Coldplay kind of guy. Jase: Country boy, used to be a party animal, was in the air force, was in a frat, likes the Dixie Chicks. Marcellas: is almost 40. Danielle is representin' Culture Club, Wham. Janelle tells Boogie to ask Erika about Alison, Diane, Nakomis, and Marci. Alison was into pageants and was feminine and girly. Will flosses. Boogie asks if Diane is "like a Lollapalooza girl or what?" Janelle thinks she likes country.


A broken thumb won't stand in the way of dental hygiene. NEVER!

A mystery voice asks from the PA system, "Hey houseguests, how did it go?" and they all chime, "FINE" in an annoyed tone. It was awesome. But then instantly, flames. Not awesome at all. They're lasting forever, so I think the HOH comp is happening now. So, regrettably, I must sign off. Until next time, keep fit and have fun!

Wine & Ramen

As we join our houseguests, they're checking out Erika's flowery wonderland, aka HOH room. She got pictures of the BB4 cast, and her dogs, and some people and stuff. She also got a Coldplay CD which Will quickly absconds with. "Finally, some white boy music up in here!" he cheers. Boogie doesn't like Coldplay but he'll learn to love them this week, because music is music.

They anticipate the Thursday night take-out meal. George thinks the producers are going to torture him and bring in fried chicken and beer. Janelle asks Danielle if she likes fried chicken. "Hello, I'm a black person," replies Danielle. Boogie or someone thinks they might get Baja Fresh again, or possibly Del Taco. Will worked at Del Taco as a teenager. Janelle hopes they get El Pollo Loco. To me, it's like they're speaking a whole new language. Um, Spanish I guess.

They then discuss their dogs. Janelle's dog is gay and looks like her. He's flamboyant. Danielle's dog is ugly and people ask what it is. One of Erika's dogs died recently. This news sort of kills the mood and everyone leaves save Danielle.


I sense a theme, but I just can't put my finger on it

Danielle and Erika discuss which cast is the hottest. Danielle thinks Erika's season didn't have much to look at at all. It's a draw between season three and six. Erika argues that Kaysar trumps everybody and Danielle agrees. Danielle thinks Howie is a handsome guy, as clowny and quirky as he is. "Don't get me wrong, he's a hot guy, but he's fucking weird!" explains Erika. "It's not an act either," says Danielle, "We all went out together and he had that fanny pack on, and I was like MY. GOD. Then I turned to Kaysar and was like, 'He has a fanny pack on.' And Kaysar just looked at me with that pained look that's like, 'I know, Dani.'" They drink wine and eat ramen noodles.


All the basic food groups

It just...melts in your mouth

It's better than crack, almost

The ramen is awesome and all but they bolt to the kitchen as soon as Janelle advises that the food has arrived. And it's...Baja Fresh. Fish tacos, taquitos, chicken soft tacos, how can you go wrong? Anything is better than, "that damn pizza" according to Janelle. Will says Boogie has arguably eaten more Baja Fresh than anyone in America. A little research tells me that Baja Fresh is owned by Wendy's. Dear Wendy's, Please feel free to bring a Baja Fresh to my town. Taco Time just doesn't cut it. They don't have a salsa bar. Warm Regards, Craving Tacos. Will says Boogie must have been really uncomfortable when Julie discussed Howie calling him a punk, and then explains what it means when Howie yells "SUPERBOWL!" It's boring and doesn't make sense. Moving right along...


Spoons are for nerds

They're discussing one of the producers, Jonah. Boogie thinks he's kinda nebbish. Will says, "Well, he's no Brad Pitt. I mean, I'm no Brad Pitt either..." and Janelle quickly interjects, "Yes you ARE!!" TLA!

Intermittent flames, and then Boogie, Will, and Janelle are playing pool. Apparently Will and Janelle did a DR together, and it is going to be off the chain. They start going into too much detail, and I'm mesmerized into a catatonic state by...*drumroll*



When the flames from hell finally cease, they're discussing James and his lameness. He finally let go and got drunk last night, and had he done that sooner, Will would have been able to relate to him better, but instead he was always running around talking about his 5 POVs in S6 and biting his nails. Boogie's getting into the hot tub. Will played the sting bass in middle school. He picked the biggest instrument possible to avoid having to take it home to practice. Boogie played the drums in 6th grade. The hot tub water is very hot. Boogie thinks it will be too hot for Will. Awwww! George joins Boogie in the hot tub and Boogie tells him about the Coup D'Etat and how it worked, and that he won it, and that it all ended up being so very pointless. Maybe not that last part, I may be projecting. Back at the pool table, Will is swinging his cue around and asks everyone if it's cool if he breaks it over his knee in a fit of anger, because it will make good TV. Janelle then immediately wins their current game and he forgets all about that pesky cue.


Delicious, nutritious chlorine

Limbo is difficult to do by yourself

Then we're left with so very much silence as people play pool, or cards, or sit in the hot tub. That's my cue to post. Until next time, keep fit and have fun.

H to the Izzo

Well, we're back after several days of Sasktel-induced no-internet misery. As we join our houseguests, Janelle is preparing to touch up Boogie's hair. She uses the same brand of highlights as Erika. Isn't that crazy?? Boogie says Erika doesn't do her own. Janelle corrects herself, she uses the same brand as Erika's hairstylist. Isn't that crazy?? Then they get all whispery and call someone a bitch. Whoops, they're not whispery, my volume is just turned down. Anyways, the touch ups commence.


This looks just like slop

Root to tip

Boogie is spilling the beans about James, and that James was going to nominate Howie, or something. Personally his hair is just too distracting to listen to what he's talking about.


It burns

Suddenly Boogie starts wigging out saying, "It burns! It burns!" Janelle inspects the area to which he's frantically pointing, and says he has..."A RASH??" He asks, without letting her finish. "Yeah," she continues, "or a cut." "Probably from the bushes the other night. God. Those competitions are so embarrassing," Boogie whines. "Yeah, well at least you didn't have to wrestle a 30 year old man for a doll," Janelle counters.

Time to check out what else is going on...Will, James, Erika, and George are in the kitchen, practicing writing on t-shirts? Oooh! The table is all full of arts and crafts supplies. It seems they're drinking some wine and..yes, making t-shirts, or something. I don't know. Erika starts humming "Izzo (H.O.V.A.)" but she can't pull it off. She's lame. James asks if there's only one colour of t-shirt writing stuff left, and yes, there is. Therefore he's "not participating in this bullshit."


snap, H to the Izzo, V to the Izzay, snap snap

Boogie comes out to the kitchen and George gives him a "wooooooow, duuuuuuude!" re: the hair, which isn't even done or washed out or anything yet. Patience George, the show only gets better! Boogie says he's also going to cut it. George asks Erika if there's any dye left. She only has brown. Boogie immediately tells him, "No dude. Chicken George Clooney. It's about the grey." James doesn't think he should dye his hair either. Erika says he should. George says he'll stick with the grey. He makes some slop. The camera zooms in and out on his face.

Erika and Danielle are in the HOH room listening to Jay-Z, MTV Unplugged. I just heard him say so. Jay Z's voice seems out of place in the BB house. Oh, flames. I don't know how they made the headphones so loud as that the mics could pick it up. Anyways, so that's where Erika learned that song, and promptly invented her own snappy hand jive to perform it to.

Will and Janelle are walking laps in the back yard. They're making up some sort of elaborate story, a la Radford Place. But I think this is a whole new story. Janelle and Will are in high school and secretly in love. Will tells Janelle that he's loved her since he first saw her, and Janelle says she feels the same way and thinks they should be together no matter what everyone else thinks. They're going to keep the relationship secret for now but eventually "make it happen." Will pauses to ask if Janelle is fully referring to her "made up little world based on Flowers in the Attic" or if any of what they're saying is applicable to current real life situations. Janelle says it could be either. Anyways, back to the story. They are sick of hiding. Will suggests that since they're going away to college in a year, they should try to keep it a secret just that long. Janelle wants to tell their parents. She doesn't want to feel like she has to hide. We then flash forward (well Will does, I don't really know where we were to start with) to breakfast "the next morning," when Janelle's dad says, "Well, since I'm your dad now too, I want you to know I really appreciate what good care you've taken of Janelle, you all have really hit it off." Will thinks "you have no idea dawg!" Ok, so apparently Janelle's mom married Will's dad. Oh! And her dad married his mom. This reminds me of Shannon and Boone and makes me a bit queasy. Ew!


Anyways, Janelle's mom is glad that Janelle is spending time with her new older brother, but suspects a bit of a crush. So she sets Janelle up with her boss's son. She runs to Will and says, "Will! She's making me go out with Bobby Fisher!" and he snaps, "The chess champion!" So he eventually agrees to go on a double date with her and Bobby Fisher and Bobby Fisher's sister. Bobby Fisher's sister is Posh Spice. Bobby Fisher is nerdy and Posh Spice is super hot. This is confusing and weird. Posh Spice is, and who can blame her, totally into Will. Now the camera switches to bitter James putting away laundry, so we'll never know how this all turns out. I'm sort of OK with that.


Now we get to see Boogie blow drying his hair. Then he and Will request a double diary room session. Will is singing "Golddigger." Whoever is manning the flames tonight sure isn't on the ball. It's been like a broadway musical up in here.


Nice job on the roots if I say so myself

Erika and Danielle are outside playing pool. Erika is now whistling "Izzo (H.O.V.A)" with all her heart. This apparently stokes her creative fire as she suddenly exclaims that "[they] should all sign the shirt!!!" She bursts into the house exclaiming such. What is the deal with this shirt or shirts?? Anyways, with Erika in the house signing the shirt or whatever, Danielle saunters over to the hammock and maliciously taunts James with a pool cue. I like her a little more now. She asks him whether he's "giving up the ghost." That means you're dying, you're dead, that's a wrap, you want to go home. He isn't. Then she channels Howie and light sabers it up with the cue a bit. "Get yer damn hands up," Erika sings. I bet Jay-Z is retiring that song from his catalogue as we speak.


America's choice is for me to jam this right in your eye

Welcome to the dark side

Erika wants everyone to sign "George's shirt." So I guess it's just one shirt. James asks if there's an "apostrophe s in All Stars." Janelle sounds it out. "All. Stars." "No." George says he loves arts and crafts. Yesterday Danielle made ravioli at 4 in the morning. George calls 'Doc' and Boogie over to sign his shirt when they return from their tag team DR session.


How many z's in all starz?

Will and Boogie brag that someone "might be called to the storage room soon" which means they persuaded the producers to give them more alcohol. A little while later, Danielle says they won't let her in storage. "That's because they're putting something in there," promises Will. Boogie...dries his hair again? OCD much? Is it really that wet? I'm confused. At least he's giving us his best Jaseface.


Just...can't...get it....dry!!

Someone cheers, they got alcohol. YAY! "Big props to Cory!" someone says. I agree. Let's all stop to give big props to Cory. That's the DR hookup that gets people what they want, if you'll recall. If you were in prison and needed something thrown over the wall, you would trust Cory to get the job done. Flames. You guys, you're totally blowing Cory's cover.

A while later, Boogie goes to shower. He's going to have to dry his hair again. Erika comes in an sneaks a peak at his junk while he washes his hair. He needs to get those highlights out! She stumbles downstairs. Everyone's drinking wine. James says he refuses to lose the game to Danielle "The Wine Cellar" Reyes. Erika and Danielle in particular seem to be getting pretty tipsy pretty quick! Good times. James says that Erika's mom is going to get grandchildren for her birthday, cause Boogie's drinking 2 bottles of wine. He and Danielle shoot pool, make light saber sounds, and then tell each other to cut it out with the sounds.


Don't worry, my pants will illuminate the table

Oh dear. The camera now switches to the HOH bathroom.


I think that's pretty self explanatory. Someone's feeling frisky thanks to some rockin new highlights and 2 bottles of wine. They have to wear sunglasses and hats because they both have body image issues. Boogie is grateful that Erika shaved her legs at least. Erika says she's making out in front of her parents on her mom's birthday. Oh god, now there's nipple touching and a possible hand job. This is all very romantic. Next she'll capture his heart with a sultry rendition of "Izzo (H.O.V.A.)."



They continue to explore their feelings and bathing suit areas and I'm really envious that I can't drink a bottle of wine in the bathtub right now. They keep trying to add hot water but there isn't any. They trade hats! Well, she's as good as pregnant.



They're having like history's longest bath. Boogie intermittently talks about such date-inappropriate topics as strategy and Erika's ex boyfriends. 2 of them were BB stars! She's into big personalities. Boogie wants to give more props to Cory. "Good producer decision!" Ah HA! So this Cory is a producer, and not just some DR minion...the plot thickens. Then we have some more full fledged soapy groping, wine sipping, and stupid Boogie comments like, "Ah yeah, holla!"

The bath wraps up and nothing too eventful is happening now...all four cameras are on Boogie and Erika...he says his spooning cred is through the roof cause he's spooning with America's Choice. He's down for whatever, and has some great lines: "We have condoms here, what's the problem? I know I'm not Kay-zar...." Erika giggles. They settle for spooning, and nestle in for a long summer's nap.



I should post this now before my internet stops working again and I have to go to the mental hospital. Until next time...keep fit and have fun!

The Kitty Cat Area

OK, so to start off with we are apparently following Howie around from outside up to the balcony. Everyone else is out by the hot tub drinking red wine, but I guess this is more interesting. He can't stop looking at the cameras for some reason, and then is saying something but his mic isn't on. He then does some sort of pushups with his legs up against the wall for about 5 seconds, until George tells him to come down and get some corn. He leaps down at light speed and tells George that the Jedi Alliance is strong.


Follow me...


Welcome to my Cloud City



You really can't blame him...mmmm

George and Howie head outside to eat, George his olives (or something in a jar, pimentos maybe?) and maple syrup. He's back on slop obviously. Danielle's outside too so obviously she's going on and on and on and on and on about stupid things. She doesn't like to wear dresses. All the jewelery she's ever been seen in belongs to her mom, who is always like, "Girl, you need to accessorize." Danielle feels that on her season she was very "harsh looking," and wants people to know she can be pretty too. "I can put my fingernails on, know'm sayin'?" Not really. She wants to get laser hair removal on "the kitty cat area, which is a gentle area," and the armpits. Erika has already braved this rite of passage. Danielle's going to get lypo on her hips, and get her boobs redone. All Erika keeps saying is, "Oh...oh..." as is her forte.


DaniBB7 is glamorous, y'all


Oh...oh.....zzzzzz...glug...glug

OK. Let's go try and find something else. Janelle and Will are on the hammock.

Janelle: I would love a Xanax. Do you think they'd give us hard drugs?
Will: No.
Janelle: In sequester?
Will: Maybe.

Then they complain for a little bit about Marcellas. Janelle says he's a snob but Will accuses her of still being "buddy buddy" with him. Will hates him. They discuss how the votes might go. Howie returns saying something about finger banging, in his sex talk. He brought Janelle a glass of wine. Awww! Bffs. "I want to crush Marcellas' dream," says Will. They talk strategy, which bores me a lot of the time. I don't know whether I'd be good on this show. Will hopes Housecalls gets cancelled.

It seems the only time I see Marcellas these days is in the dark. He and Erika are talking about hot guys and hating on Janelle. She's like, such a bitch. Totally. It's just like a night time scene on Laguna Beach, perhaps at a sizzling club or secluded beach, what with the weird lighting and zombie eyes and adolescent self pity.


And I haven't even gotten to what happened in Cabo

Boogie and Danielle are dangling their legs in the hot tub and talk about how great they are.

Will and Janelle are still on the hammock and still hate Marcellas.

Will joins Boogie and Janelle in the hot tub as Janelle joins Marcellas and Erika. Danielle says will had better "recognize." They go on about how they're pulling the wool over Janelle's eyes. Big Brother asks Will to put on his microphone. "It's on!" He freaks out, "I can't clip it to my fucking nipple!" To that I say, have you tried? You might like it. Danielle is wasted! If you forget, she'll remind you in 4 minutes. That pink housecoat is searing my eyes from their very sockets.

A while later, in the HOH room, I hate Mike Boogie a little bit more, just for being him.


I just don't know why people don't take me seriously

They're talking about the usual boring topic, the game. It would be interesting if they didn't just say the same things over and over. James is being his usual animated, thrilling self. Actually, I think he's drinking nail polish remover. He calls Janelle a liar. Howie thinks Erika is a cougar. Janelle just wants her to be voted out.


I just can't get drunk on beer or wine

Well, now everyone is settling for the pre-voting arguments and general blathering that we've come to know and love on Tuesday nights. Just substitute the names every week and it's the same song and dance. But without singing or dancing, because that would violate copyright laws, and then we get this:



Which coincidentally we get right now because Danielle starts singing. Shut up drunky! Aaaaand it seems we're stuck with flames for a while. I'm falling asleep at the wheel, so until next time, keep fit and have fun!

There's Always Room for Cake

Well, after a weekend filled with folk festivaling, it feels as though I haven't seen my BB friends on the feeds for weeks! I'm too tired today, but hopefully in the next couple of days I will post again. The houseguest got cake for reaching the halfway point today!

Hustlin' it, man

As we join our houseguests, Janelle has just emerged from the shower and is spreading some sort of pomade or wax through her hair with her palms, working from root to tip. Howie sits nearby, and at first I thought he was just sucking his fingers, but it appears he is actually applying orajel or some such cold sore medication. Lots of it. And we're treated to the closest view possible without microscopes.


Slop makes good conditioner

Apply liberally means the whole tube

Will comes in and they discuss when the Survivor contestants visited during season 2, and Jeff Varner called Will a god. Erika then joins to tweeze.


Peekaboo!

Kaysar comes in to have a (cold) shower and Janelle asks how long until his birthday. 25 minutes! Kaysar will be 26 at the stroke of midnight. Well not really, cause it depends what time of day he was born, and he doesn't know when that was, so we will never know the exact moment when Kaysar morphs from 25 to 26. Janelle was born at 2 pm, so there's that. At least we have that. Kaysar showers in his bathing suit, and he's 3 years younger than me, which seems depressing (the age thing, not the bathing suit in the shower thing, although I suppose having to wear a bathing suit in the shower can also be categorized as depressing).

In the HOH room Will says he's going to "start trying" to win competitions, to which Erika replies, "Fuck off." Then she and Boogie start in on some boring conversation, and I switch feeds because that's what I do when Boogie's talking.

Oh, the other option is George telling Howie he wanted to be on the Early Show, so he went to New York, and from there he went to Atlanta. He was "hustlin' it, man." His life story closely mirrors that of Djay in Hustle & Flow. I'm guessing. Howie's like, "So when BB called and asked if you wanted to do this you said-" and George interrupts and simply says, "You can't pass up opportunities like this Howie." How profane George. I am not going to pass up the opportunity to try to watch something else.

Janelle and Kaysar are in the kitchen and he's saying he wants to eat a cheese sandwich but, oh, that's right, he can't, because Janelle put him on slop. The camera follows Kaysar around as he walks from room to room.

Will, Erika, and Boogie discuss whether someone is coming back. God, this is all they ever talk about. Will says he was asking the producers about it in a DR session and telling them he wanted to go home before sequester. He was nominated at the time and felt he could rally the votes to leave, but the producers said no no no don't do that. They wouldn't say why but Will is convinced it's because someone is coming back. BB then says, "Houseguests! Do not discuss your Diary Room sessions with other houseguests!"


Busted!

Now pretty much everybody is outside on the couches. Marcellas says he's never actually eaten the slop. He's had a bite here and there, but never a bowl. He's mostly eaten salsa soup and ketchup soup and protein shakes. Will had ketchup soup. James says Diane used to dip relish in mayonnaise. Will says he saw George eat mayo out of the bottle with a knife. Not only is it Kaysar's birthday, but the 22 year anniversary of Howie's pipe bomb accident. Danielle asks Howie, "Why the fauxhawk?" He likes it. "You should look your age, you'd be so much more handsome," says Danielle. "You look like a dork," says James, "and that's why Will and Boogie say they like it." "Fuck Chilltown," says Howie, and he continues with his ziplock baggie o' snacks. Hopefully the snacking doesn't affect the cold sore medication. I mean, after all that careful application.


Classiness is next to godliness

Boogie comes out all jarred out of whack about George stealing his cushion (he's been using one of the long red cushions from the living room couches to sleep on). "Now he's got jokes! (mocking George) You snooze you loose Boogie! I'll see him tomorrow at 5:45 when I have a bucking key swinging on my finger! Chicken George sowing his oats, shoulda played the background..." and storms back inside. He must really be into that cushion.


Sharing is for losers!

James gives Danielle props for something. Howie says she's a "bad ass bitch, er- lady, woman." She says, "as long as you don't go Busto on me." I have no idea what they're talking about. "BB3 Danielle..." Danielle says. She says that all the time, it's her favorite phrase. Howie thinks that if it was raining harder, he could have won the spider web challenge because he would have been wetter and thus heavier (?). James reminds him that is was not raining during that challenge. "Well, the white stuff," Howie says.

Janelle complains about Marcellas being fake. Apparently she shut the door in his face and told him she was done with him. Oooh! Juicy. She, Will, Boogie, and Kaysar discuss. Kaysar peers through the tarantula habitat to see if anyone is in the other room eavesdropping. The deterioration of the JanMar friendship is very upsetting to me, because it likely means the end of Radford Place.

Marcellas and Erika are in HOH discussing how brilliant they are. Marcellas knows how to create the perfect jury. You have to think about that bitch from day 1, he feels. Erika employs her ongoing strategy of paraphrasing exactly what the person speaking to her has just finished saying. They bask in each other's brilliance. "Say I play under the radar now, internet!" taunts Erika.


Let's play drunk driver!

"It is what it is." Everybody says this back and forth to each other about 90 times. It's one of their favorite phrases as a group (to differentiate from personal favorites, like "BB3 Danielle...")


I'm tall enough to ride the Polar Express!

Well, that's all for now. Everyone is being whispery and lulling me to sleep. Until next time, keep fit and have fun!