The Kitty Cat Area

OK, so to start off with we are apparently following Howie around from outside up to the balcony. Everyone else is out by the hot tub drinking red wine, but I guess this is more interesting. He can't stop looking at the cameras for some reason, and then is saying something but his mic isn't on. He then does some sort of pushups with his legs up against the wall for about 5 seconds, until George tells him to come down and get some corn. He leaps down at light speed and tells George that the Jedi Alliance is strong.


Follow me...


Welcome to my Cloud City



You really can't blame him...mmmm

George and Howie head outside to eat, George his olives (or something in a jar, pimentos maybe?) and maple syrup. He's back on slop obviously. Danielle's outside too so obviously she's going on and on and on and on and on about stupid things. She doesn't like to wear dresses. All the jewelery she's ever been seen in belongs to her mom, who is always like, "Girl, you need to accessorize." Danielle feels that on her season she was very "harsh looking," and wants people to know she can be pretty too. "I can put my fingernails on, know'm sayin'?" Not really. She wants to get laser hair removal on "the kitty cat area, which is a gentle area," and the armpits. Erika has already braved this rite of passage. Danielle's going to get lypo on her hips, and get her boobs redone. All Erika keeps saying is, "Oh...oh..." as is her forte.


DaniBB7 is glamorous, y'all


Oh...oh.....zzzzzz...glug...glug

OK. Let's go try and find something else. Janelle and Will are on the hammock.

Janelle: I would love a Xanax. Do you think they'd give us hard drugs?
Will: No.
Janelle: In sequester?
Will: Maybe.

Then they complain for a little bit about Marcellas. Janelle says he's a snob but Will accuses her of still being "buddy buddy" with him. Will hates him. They discuss how the votes might go. Howie returns saying something about finger banging, in his sex talk. He brought Janelle a glass of wine. Awww! Bffs. "I want to crush Marcellas' dream," says Will. They talk strategy, which bores me a lot of the time. I don't know whether I'd be good on this show. Will hopes Housecalls gets cancelled.

It seems the only time I see Marcellas these days is in the dark. He and Erika are talking about hot guys and hating on Janelle. She's like, such a bitch. Totally. It's just like a night time scene on Laguna Beach, perhaps at a sizzling club or secluded beach, what with the weird lighting and zombie eyes and adolescent self pity.


And I haven't even gotten to what happened in Cabo

Boogie and Danielle are dangling their legs in the hot tub and talk about how great they are.

Will and Janelle are still on the hammock and still hate Marcellas.

Will joins Boogie and Janelle in the hot tub as Janelle joins Marcellas and Erika. Danielle says will had better "recognize." They go on about how they're pulling the wool over Janelle's eyes. Big Brother asks Will to put on his microphone. "It's on!" He freaks out, "I can't clip it to my fucking nipple!" To that I say, have you tried? You might like it. Danielle is wasted! If you forget, she'll remind you in 4 minutes. That pink housecoat is searing my eyes from their very sockets.

A while later, in the HOH room, I hate Mike Boogie a little bit more, just for being him.


I just don't know why people don't take me seriously

They're talking about the usual boring topic, the game. It would be interesting if they didn't just say the same things over and over. James is being his usual animated, thrilling self. Actually, I think he's drinking nail polish remover. He calls Janelle a liar. Howie thinks Erika is a cougar. Janelle just wants her to be voted out.


I just can't get drunk on beer or wine

Well, now everyone is settling for the pre-voting arguments and general blathering that we've come to know and love on Tuesday nights. Just substitute the names every week and it's the same song and dance. But without singing or dancing, because that would violate copyright laws, and then we get this:



Which coincidentally we get right now because Danielle starts singing. Shut up drunky! Aaaaand it seems we're stuck with flames for a while. I'm falling asleep at the wheel, so until next time, keep fit and have fun!