Hustlin' it, man

As we join our houseguests, Janelle has just emerged from the shower and is spreading some sort of pomade or wax through her hair with her palms, working from root to tip. Howie sits nearby, and at first I thought he was just sucking his fingers, but it appears he is actually applying orajel or some such cold sore medication. Lots of it. And we're treated to the closest view possible without microscopes.


Slop makes good conditioner

Apply liberally means the whole tube

Will comes in and they discuss when the Survivor contestants visited during season 2, and Jeff Varner called Will a god. Erika then joins to tweeze.


Peekaboo!

Kaysar comes in to have a (cold) shower and Janelle asks how long until his birthday. 25 minutes! Kaysar will be 26 at the stroke of midnight. Well not really, cause it depends what time of day he was born, and he doesn't know when that was, so we will never know the exact moment when Kaysar morphs from 25 to 26. Janelle was born at 2 pm, so there's that. At least we have that. Kaysar showers in his bathing suit, and he's 3 years younger than me, which seems depressing (the age thing, not the bathing suit in the shower thing, although I suppose having to wear a bathing suit in the shower can also be categorized as depressing).

In the HOH room Will says he's going to "start trying" to win competitions, to which Erika replies, "Fuck off." Then she and Boogie start in on some boring conversation, and I switch feeds because that's what I do when Boogie's talking.

Oh, the other option is George telling Howie he wanted to be on the Early Show, so he went to New York, and from there he went to Atlanta. He was "hustlin' it, man." His life story closely mirrors that of Djay in Hustle & Flow. I'm guessing. Howie's like, "So when BB called and asked if you wanted to do this you said-" and George interrupts and simply says, "You can't pass up opportunities like this Howie." How profane George. I am not going to pass up the opportunity to try to watch something else.

Janelle and Kaysar are in the kitchen and he's saying he wants to eat a cheese sandwich but, oh, that's right, he can't, because Janelle put him on slop. The camera follows Kaysar around as he walks from room to room.

Will, Erika, and Boogie discuss whether someone is coming back. God, this is all they ever talk about. Will says he was asking the producers about it in a DR session and telling them he wanted to go home before sequester. He was nominated at the time and felt he could rally the votes to leave, but the producers said no no no don't do that. They wouldn't say why but Will is convinced it's because someone is coming back. BB then says, "Houseguests! Do not discuss your Diary Room sessions with other houseguests!"


Busted!

Now pretty much everybody is outside on the couches. Marcellas says he's never actually eaten the slop. He's had a bite here and there, but never a bowl. He's mostly eaten salsa soup and ketchup soup and protein shakes. Will had ketchup soup. James says Diane used to dip relish in mayonnaise. Will says he saw George eat mayo out of the bottle with a knife. Not only is it Kaysar's birthday, but the 22 year anniversary of Howie's pipe bomb accident. Danielle asks Howie, "Why the fauxhawk?" He likes it. "You should look your age, you'd be so much more handsome," says Danielle. "You look like a dork," says James, "and that's why Will and Boogie say they like it." "Fuck Chilltown," says Howie, and he continues with his ziplock baggie o' snacks. Hopefully the snacking doesn't affect the cold sore medication. I mean, after all that careful application.


Classiness is next to godliness

Boogie comes out all jarred out of whack about George stealing his cushion (he's been using one of the long red cushions from the living room couches to sleep on). "Now he's got jokes! (mocking George) You snooze you loose Boogie! I'll see him tomorrow at 5:45 when I have a bucking key swinging on my finger! Chicken George sowing his oats, shoulda played the background..." and storms back inside. He must really be into that cushion.


Sharing is for losers!

James gives Danielle props for something. Howie says she's a "bad ass bitch, er- lady, woman." She says, "as long as you don't go Busto on me." I have no idea what they're talking about. "BB3 Danielle..." Danielle says. She says that all the time, it's her favorite phrase. Howie thinks that if it was raining harder, he could have won the spider web challenge because he would have been wetter and thus heavier (?). James reminds him that is was not raining during that challenge. "Well, the white stuff," Howie says.

Janelle complains about Marcellas being fake. Apparently she shut the door in his face and told him she was done with him. Oooh! Juicy. She, Will, Boogie, and Kaysar discuss. Kaysar peers through the tarantula habitat to see if anyone is in the other room eavesdropping. The deterioration of the JanMar friendship is very upsetting to me, because it likely means the end of Radford Place.

Marcellas and Erika are in HOH discussing how brilliant they are. Marcellas knows how to create the perfect jury. You have to think about that bitch from day 1, he feels. Erika employs her ongoing strategy of paraphrasing exactly what the person speaking to her has just finished saying. They bask in each other's brilliance. "Say I play under the radar now, internet!" taunts Erika.


Let's play drunk driver!

"It is what it is." Everybody says this back and forth to each other about 90 times. It's one of their favorite phrases as a group (to differentiate from personal favorites, like "BB3 Danielle...")


I'm tall enough to ride the Polar Express!

Well, that's all for now. Everyone is being whispery and lulling me to sleep. Until next time, keep fit and have fun!